Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Ex-Boyfriends Win Best Indie Band in the Bay Guardian 2008!!

It's us! Scroll down to see it! Whoa!!

P.S. I have no idea if this is all done by write-ins or what. I'd think if we were somehow nominated we would've known. So this just makes it extra super special because it was from the Readers Poll and not Editors Picks, so it's totally from the people. Wow!!! Thank you to all who voted us in!!

Update on My Dad

I spoke with his girlfriend and my Uncle today and the outlook is a lot better than it was last night. He had a Pulmonary Embolism which is a blood clot in the lungs and is very common in lung cancer patients. It's caused by tissue or tumor pieces getting caught in the lungs and is more likely to happen when one is sedentary, which he has been a lot since his visit to see me.

He's in the hospital and they have him on a heparin drip and on Coumadin, which is a pill for blood thinning - the two are pretty much always used in concert with one another. He will probably be in the hospital for a few days for observation and they are finding him a pulmonary specialist.

I am both relieved and a little bit ready to strangle him, if only because he really should be speaking to his doctor sooner when he's in as much pain as he's been in. But he's got that stubborn manly pride thing going on. But mainly I am glad that what is going on is treatable and he'll live for me to nag and love him awhile longer.

Thanks for all your good thoughts and support, I really appreciate it.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My Dad

I just spoke with my Dad's girlfriend. He has taken a bad turn and has barely been eating or getting out of bed for the last few days. He's also been having increased breathing difficulties. The paramedics are on their way to their place as I type this so I will find out tonight or tomorrow what will happen next. I have a really bad feeling about this though.

Monday, July 28, 2008


Today's Mood

Words can't quite capture it. But Siobhan Fahey does. Flawlessly.

Spotted! On the Streets of San Francisco

Back when I lived in NYC I used to see all kinds of snazzy celebs in my travels throughout the island of Manhattan. Now that I live here in SF I mainly see gay porn stars who are 100x less hot in person than they are on my laptop and/or TV screen. But Saturday I was downtown shopping with friends and saw a clutch of people pass by with a woman I knew I'd seen on television before. It was driving me crazy that I couldn't remember where. In my mind I heard a breathy, girlish voice with a hint of s speech impediment and a demeanor that lent itself to the term "ditzy". I saw a big, toothy, dazzling smile but I still couldn't place her for the life of me. It wasn't until dining on delicious Indian food with my friends Michael and Mike that, through the aid of Michael's interpretations of my vague memories of her, I realized it was none other than Georgia Engel a.k.a. "Georgette" from Mary Tyler Moore and frequent guest star on Fantasy Island and The Love Boat.

I have to say, she looks pretty fantastic now. This is a recent photo I found of her (sandwiched by some gays, naturally):

And another of her dancing it up, musical theater stylee:

She's in the touring cast of The Drowsy Chaperone which is playing here in SF right now. I have to applaud her for not falling prey to the excessive plastic surgery pitfalls that her former co-star Mary Tyler Moore has. It's never sexy or age-defying to look like Madame.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Project Runway Regurgitated

If you're into that sorta thing, I am continuing my tradition of recapping Project Runway over on my LJ. Expect long, rambling entries with lots of unrelated references, random grammar and my usual shenanigans.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Shots from a Mini Tour

Touring was a mixed bag - wonderful and fun because of seeing dear friends and playing tight, awesome sets. But disappointing because our audiences were tiny, the money we made even tinier and the tour promotion non-existent. But I did get some cool photos along the way.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

You still need to help The Prids!!

Click the image below to donate and help them with their hospital bills and other expenses. Any amount will help. DO IT!! PLEASE!!


A Yogi or a Zen Buddhist or a therapist or just a really positive person would tell one that dwelling on one's disappointments. But I seem to have a list of them right now and I feel like putting them down in this here blog might help me cleanse, move on and otherwise heal and other sorts of new age-y action. Besides, reading about stuff complaining is way more fun. Please note that said disappointments range from the sublime to the ridiculous.

1) I'm disappointed in Beth Ditto for appearing in this Nylon photo shoot when she's always been such an outspoken, anti-oppression kind of person. It feels like a rehash of the Riot Grrrl movement where white, class privileged, activist women focussed largely on their own oppression while exhibiting racist, classist attitudes towards women of color and working class/poor women who sought to participate in a supposedly inclusive movement. I know she probably doesn't have 100% control over the editorial direction of a magazine photo shoot but she certainly has the power to say "NO" in the same loudmouth way she speaks out against sizeist beauty standards, sexism and homophobia.

2) I'm disappointed with my band's record label for doing zero press for our mini tour after promising they would. This is the latest in a long list of disappointments on their behalf and I won't get into it because it tends to send me into a white-hot rage.

3) I'm disappointed that it often seems like the underground/indie/local/lesser known music scene seems to be full of people who are more often interested in supporting bands who are high on schtick/image/gimmick and low on talent and actual good songs. Is the only way left to get any kind of attention in this indie world to make everything about some huge ironic wink and make sure that nothing you do seems earnest or honest or just something you seriously love to do?

4) I'm a bit disappointed in the new season of Venture Bros. It's not that it's bad, it just seems like they're trying to make it a more straight forward, story arc-driven show when so much of what made the first two seasons hilarious was how brilliantly random most of the episodes were.

5) I'm disappointed that the medical industry in this country is so highly fucked that were in a serious accident on tour have to call on help to raise money to pay hospital bills and medical expenses due to the supremely backwards world of health insurance. But I am not disappointed in how many people have not hesitated to help them.

And you know what never disappoints me? The song "Disappointed" by Morrissey. It has fantastic drums, witty lyrics and is an all around joy to my ears. You should click here to download the song and experience the lack of disappointment for yourself.

Monday, July 21, 2008


My good friends in the band The Prids were in a really bad van accident on tour in California. Please see below and donate to them to try and help them cover medical costs, damages, etc.

Our dear friends The Prids - David, Mistina, Joey and Maile - and two of their significant others - Kristin and Chris - were in a serious accident early Sunday evening while en route to Los Angeles on tour.

A tire blew and they lost control of the van and it rolled several times. David was airlifted from the scene of the crash, he suffered a broken collar bone, broken ribs and has 6 staples in his head. Chris broke his arm and may have spinal injuries. Maile has a broken vertebra and toe and a severe cut with stitches on her knee. Joey broke ribs, Mistina suffered a concussion, and as far as I know Kristin is in similar shape. As of late last night, everyone had been released from the hospital but David had to go back in the middle of the night and is still there. The rest are staying at a hotel in Fresno.

A special paypal account has been set up to help out and donate directly to The Prids. They need help getting home and paying their hospital bills. If you can't help out monetarily, please repost this info on your blogs, etc. Thanks!

If you have problems with the link, you can send money directly to "".

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mini Touring is the New Touring!!

Okay, sorry to post-o-rama about this, but you know I have to whore it up for my band. We're hitting the road this week and will be in the Pacific Northwest for some shows Thursday - Saturday!!! Click the image below for all relevant info for each show!!


Monday, July 14, 2008

Mexicans & Italians should weep... this lunch I have constructed with whatever is left in my fridge because I don't want to go grocery shopping right before I leave for tour. I think I'll call it a "Pizaco" - a combination of pizza and taco.

What you need:
Low carb whole wheat tortilla? Check!
Pepper Jack Yogurt Cheese? Check!
Turkey Pepperoni? Check!
Black Beans? Check!

How to make:
Heat beans in a pot till they are cooked to the state you enjoy them. Heat tortillas over medium heat in a pan with the cheese broken up over them and the pepperoni on top. Heat until cheese is melty. Pour cooked beans on tortilla/cheese/pepperoni combination. Add salsa to taste. Marvel at your culinary mastery.

Friday, July 11, 2008

One result of my Dad's visit... that I have an even more intense hatred for the medical industry in this country than I used to. They have made sure that 90 year old men can get boners but they can't fucking cure cancer. It makes me want to smash about one thousand windows.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Glass Wonderland

Today my Dad and I went to the Dale Chihuly exhibit at the de Young. I forgot to bring my regular camera but I got some camera phone pics that capture a fraction of the otherworldly magic of his pieces. I am going back before the exhibit ends to take pics with my real camera.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Ex-Boyfriends July Mini Tour is Go!!!

We are hitting the road next week to rock the Pacific Northwest and you simply MUST be there! Below are all the dates and info you need:

07/17/08 - Thursday • Le Voyeur in Olympia, WA!! •
404 E 4th Ave Olympia, WA 98501, (360) 943-5710, with Smile Brigade, The Globe and Joe from the Pasties. 21+, show starts at 10pm, ***FREE*** So please buy our stuff so we can eat and put gas in our vehicle!! Not sure what time we go on so just show up at 10:00!!

07/18/08 - Friday • Comet Tavern in Seattle, WA!! •
922 E Pike St Seattle, WA 98122-3817, (206) 322-9272. With Spanish for 100, Conservative Dad, The Love Lights. 21+, show starts at 9:00!! WE ARE ON THIRD OUT OF FOUR!!

07/19/08 - Sat • Music Millenium East In-Store in Portland, OR!! •
3158 E. Burnside Portland, OR 97214 (503) 231-8926. We go on at 6:00!!

07/19/08 - Sat • Towne Lounge in Portland, OR!! •
714 SW 20th Pl, Portland, OR 97205, (503) 241-8696. With Speaker Speaker and Spectacle Machine (new side band from former members of The Minders). 21+ show at 9:30, $6.00 at the door!! WE GO ON LAST OUT OF THREE!!

Tell everyone! Bring your friends, bring your lovers, hell...bring your enemies!! If you live in Olympia or Seattle, why not go to both shows? We promise not to play the exact same set both nights!!!

* EXBF official site

* EXBF Myspace

Sublebrity Sighting

Earlier today I was at Costco with my co-worker Jb, fetching many a snack, drink and sundry item for the many porn models we employ (so needy, these models are with their requests for special toothpaste and specific juice flavors!), when I spotted a man who I swore I'd seen on TV. I looked at him a number of times trying to figure out what I'd seen him in. An image of him running came to mind so I thought it might've been in something action packed. Perhaps he was a recurring guest on Law & Order SVU, the show my boyfriend Christopher Meloni stars in? Jb confirmed that he looked familiar and urged me to ask him who he was. He was clearly not so famous that he was instantly recognizable, so being recognized would most likely be a flattering experience, right? So when he was standing opposite us in his checkout line I said "Excuse me, but are you an actor by any chance?" To which he replied "yes, I am" and then shook my hand and introduced himself as Ryan, which I thought was quite gracious. When I asked him what I might recognize him from he said "Well, I was just on Top Chef." And I immediately remembered him from the show, realizing the image of him running in my mind was of him dashing about the kitchen like all the other competing chefs.

He wished me well and was off on his way, perhaps a little happier that someone recognizes him from his brief time on television. A few points of interest about Mr. Scott in person:

1) He is gigantically tall. He seemed tall on the show but I felt seriously tiny next to him.

2) He is actually pretty hot despite my not thinking he was so hot on TV. And I think that's good, right, thinking someone looks better in person?

3) He seems to shave or wax his chest hair to some degree. He had a kind of v-neck shirt on and I could see this little patch of hair near the top and then a bunch of stubble. That was a bit of a bummer, cuz I think he'd be way hotter with it grown in.

4) He is either gay or pretty metro - he was all stylish in this way that said "Summer in the Castro".

5) I thought it was odd that he answered "yes" to me thinking he was an actor. Maybe he really is and that's why he didn't do so hot on the cooking show.

When I lived in NYC I used to see celebrities so much that my friends called me The Celebrity Magnet. Now in SF I only see gay porn guys on the street who freak me out with both how incredibly short they are in person as well as almost always being fractionally hot compared to how they look in photos and movies. So seeing this vaguely famous, non-porn person gave me a bit of a grounded, familiar feeling. Sure, it's not as fabulous as seeing Linda Evangelista looking statuesque and gorgeous as she glided down 6th Avenue or as hilarious as seeing Kyle McLachlan in what I hope was a mullet he had to grow for a role. But it's still a bit less disconcerting than seeing Michael Brandon looking all worn the fuck out at the Walgreens on the corner of Castro and 18th.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Why the hell isn't The Incredible Shrinking Woman out on DVD? This seems somehow criminal.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

You're a Wonder, Lynda Carter

I've been re-watching my favorite episodes of Season 1 of Wonder Woman on DVD. It really is the best season of the show and not just because it was set in World War II and therefore the costumes were more fabulous and it was awesome to watch the Nazis get their asses kicked on a weekly basis. It was watching Lynda Carter act the hell out of her role like she never quite did again in the subsequent 2 seasons. She was always great, don't get me wrong, but she always blows me away in the first season. She put so much effort into making Diana Prince seem truly different from Wonder Woman, unrecognizable as the star-spangled Amazon yet intelligent and resourceful in her own right, never portraying her as a meek, helpless woman, just a different one. But my favorite thing is watching the episodes in which you can see her struggling to support the American war effort while also clearly being disgusted by their own vulgar displays of power, regardless of the worthwhile causes they were being used for. And, to top it all off, she ran around in that outfit as naturally as you or I would run around in jeans and a t-shirt. She deserved an Emmy for that alone. She may want to be known as many other things in her professional life and I can understand that. But she'll always be Wonder Woman to me.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Adventures in Scary Food Products

Who is willing to try this product with me?

I am both fascinated by and terified of it.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Muxed Up

Here be a Muxtape for you all to enjoy. It's made up of songs I'm currently digging on and, as such, it's a pretty random fiesta. But hopefully you'll hear something you like. Click on the image of the cassette below to open the mix.

O HAY, I made another one. I forgot I had a 2nd identity on Muxtape so I made another one under that name, this time with a theme: no songs less than 2 minutes long and all kind of spazzy/fast/hyper except for maybe the last one which I could not resist. It's not even 20 full minutes long! Enjoy, part 2!

Is That All There Is?

I have been writing this post in my head for the last week or so and mulling over whether or not I want to post it. But I think self-censoring is never a good idea, so here goes. I want to start off this post with a disclaimer: I do not have anything against my fellow California gays, lesbians, queers, non-heteros, etc. who want to get married. I am not mad at you for your desire for this or for your choice to do so. What I am a bit mad at is how marriage seems to have become the be-all, end-all goal of the mainstream gay movement.

I will say straight-up that I think marriage is a dated and antiquated institution that I see very little value in beyond the rights and benefits it imparts to couples who engage in it. And therein lies one of my main problems with marriage as it is today - those pesky rights and benefits that are bequeathed to these sets of people and denied anyone else who is not able to or willing to undergo the rites of legal marriage. Anything outside of that sanctioned union is unrecognized, unworthy, unrewarded.

And that's what it feels like - a reward for participating in this highly normative institution; an institution which has roots so thick with misogyny and heterosexism, with women being treated as property handed over by fathers to husbands in exchange for land and goods. There's no recognition of people maybe having more than just ONE important person in their lives, whether that's due to being a polyamorous individual or someone with a community of friends or a self-made family who might want to visit them in the hospital, be able to share health insurance with a beloved friend who doesn't have it or anything else that doesn't get to happen because they aren't part of a married couple. The idea that I am supposed to pick one person in my life who can receive all these rights and benefits and cannot extend them to anyone else seems ludicrous. And yet so many members of my "community" seem to think this is a perfectly legitimate situation and are hailing this as an across the board victory.

And I don't blame people for feeling victorious, don't get me wrong. It is a victory of sorts, albeit a very limited one - don't even get me started on how limited gay marriage is in California, being recognized solely at a state level. And, like I said before, if you really want marriage, I am not holding that against you. I just wish people would set their sights a little higher. Like, marriage today, tomorrow we dismantle this whole dated, limited institution and demand more! But that doesn't seem to be the general response. And I wonder how much of that is just about how most of us are raised in a culture where the values that are fed to us are ones of marrying and starting a nuclear family and living happily ever after. Just because a bunch of us turn out to be big ol' queers doesn't mean we all escape that influence. Just the other day I read a blog post by a SF-based gay guy which included a photo of him and his boyfriend to which one of his friend replied "You two make such a cute couple! Could there be wedding bells in your future??" It suddenly occurred to me, with bone-chilling certainty, that these kinds of questions that I used to feel I could sidestep by being gay are now potentially going to be lobbed at me any time I am dating someone for more than 5 minutes. And, frankly, that is not something I look forward to.

I guess I just want to see a more radical assessment of marriage and rights and how they are granted in this country. There used to be a time that the queer rights movement had a more radical feel to it; a feeling that we were trying to dismantle some archaic systems while trying to gain rights for ourselves and hoping to be treated less like second class citizens. But somewhere along the way radicalism got pushed aside in favor of joining the winning team and to hell with anyone who doesn't want to play for that team.

I expect that some people will not have a positive response to this post. But, in responding with your disagreements, please keep in mind that this is not a personal attack on any queer folks I know who are or want to get married. This is about a larger issue that I feel is not being addressed.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

What You're Not Reading But Should Be

Namely, my pal Ron's serial story 48 Alone. Ron also does a blog called The Sum but I have to confess, I have been SO engrossed by his serial that I am not reading his blog as faithfully. The story SEEMS to start off slowly but it just keeps building and building and layers of information and events keep piling up until you're absolutely salivating for the next entry. He's serving them up pretty much daily so the wait is never too long. So do please check it out!

Be sure to go to the archive and start with the author's intro then keep on reading the suspenseful goodness.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Et tu, fansite?

Do you ever suddenly find yourself wondering "what in the world has Fairuza Balk been up to lately? I know I do. So, naturally, I turn to Google for answers. And it's clear from the IMDB link I embedded in her name that she HAS been working, albeit not on anything blockbuster-y. Still, work is work.

But then there's her fansite,

Ouch. That was way harsh, Ty. And it's, like, the third result you get when you Google her name. You know she's seen that. You know that totally harshes her mellow. And Fairuza's never actually seemed all that mellow, so that webmaster had better sleep with one eye open on their Fairuza-ignoring world tour. She'll get all The Craft on your ass!