Thursday, May 07, 2009

What's It All About, Chriso?

Oh my blog, how I have neglected thee. Which is not a surprise. As soon as I was accepted to the full time cosmetology program at Cinta Aveda Institute I knew my presence here would fade significantly. What I didn't realize is that my desire to be present here would also follow suit. It's particularly interesting because my life is currently fuller and more exciting than it's been in the longest time. My time is pretty much consumed by school and my band. And since those are both two things I love a lot I am spending tons of time doing fantastic, fun, thrilling and challenging things. So why aren't I writing about it more?

I was trying to document my beauty school experience for awhile in my Livejournal but I quickly lost the focus and drive to do so. It felt like I was trying to process everything into this format as soon as it happened but it ended up feeling kind of false; like I was trying to frame it in a way that was entertaining or consumable for a reader. But really, all I wanted to write was "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO DO THIS EVERY DAY, IT'S SO AWESOME. ALSO I AM SO TIRED." And that is still how I feel most of the time. And that's not all that stimulating of a read, is it? Sure, I could work at making it one, but that doesn't hold much sway for me right now.

I don't want to put down anyone who keeps a blog; even a blog that I might think is a as boring or pointless as the day is long. Because I think writing about things, expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts is always a great process to undergo. But I also think that there can be times in one's life when one is too busy living to write about it. And I think that is a lot of where I am at right now. I have rarely felt as in the present as I do lately. Not that I never reflect on the past or contemplate the future. But it's usually about things like "Oooh, I wonder what hair services I get to do at school tomorrow" or "I can't wait till the new album is finished". It's all very much focused on things that I am currently involved in and excited about. And things that I don't feel like endlessly processing through this particular filter. This is a similar feeling I had when I ran out of steam for writing zines. (Although there were other mitigating circumstances that were souring me on that genre altogether) I started to feel like I was trying to force my life experiences through that specific filter instead of just fucking living. And I really am not trying to insult you if you faithfully maintain a blog. Or several. It's just where I am at right now and it feels worth sharing. And hey, if you're really tied to blogging, maybe see how it feels to take a few weeks off from it. Just give it a try.

In the meantime, I am doing hair and making music and feeling like the luckiest motherfucker just about every day. I highly recommend finding a situation that makes you feel the same. It rules.

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