Thursday, March 29, 2007

Is it 2007 or 1907?

I was just reading Violet Blue's current blog entry over at It's about a response to her latest weekly column for the San Francisco Chronicle entitled "When a Man Hates a Woman: The ugly side of sex and the Web."I feel like I am caught in a bit of a time warp. Or maybe, more correctly, a reality warp. It's so easy to forget that outside of my bubble of friends - a diverse group of people who are all intelligent, thinking people in various ways and seem to have social skills and a forward-thinking, generally progressive mindset when it comes to people who are different than them - that there are a lot of ignorant, bigoted, just plain hateful people in the world.

The person responding to Violet's article about women in the blogging world who are threatened with violence and sexual assault referred to her writing as "dangerous" and framed it as "propaganda". Now seriously, go read her article and then think about that person's comments in response. What on Earth is "dangerous" about her article? Is it dangerous to call out and disparage rampant misogyny? Is it dangerous to speak out against violence towards women who are simply being targeted for their gender? Is it dangerous to say that threatening women with sexual violence, stalking them and publishing their personal information and location as well as that of their friends and family for all the world to see is wrong? How in the world is that dangerous? I really need this explained to me because to me it's just fucking logical. This sort of behavior should be called out and should be disparaged and should be reprimanded. Not supported by a bunch of douche bags at the New York Times as if it was all some harmless, schoolboy prank.

And then we move on to the "propaganda" allegation put forth by her responder. According to "propaganda" is:

1. information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement, institution, nation, etc.
2. the deliberate spreading of such information, rumors, etc.
3. the particular doctrines or principles propagated by an organization or movement.

Now one could argue that Violet truly is trying to spread information and ideas to "harm" a certain person or group. Maybe this comment isn't totally off base. What she's doing is trying to point out the insidiousness of this violent misogyny and declare that it is no longer acceptable and the parties responsible should not have the right to perpetuate it, hide behind anonymity or have major publications gently slap them on the wrist for it and then send them 8 zillion tons of free traffic. So sure, call it propaganda if you will. But don't try to put a negative slant on it, because this is the kind of information that needs to be spread far and wide. It needs to damage the repuatations of the perpetrators to the point where no one lends creedence to their work, turns their backs on them and deletes them from their fucking bookmarks.

It's 2007 people. The notion that a man is still threatened by a woman in the same field as him is beyond pathetic. You're fossils. You're relics. You're sad, sad victims of an archaic mindset that has no place in this day and age. Unfortunately, we can't summon a meteor that targets only asshole dinosaurs like you and all your supporters.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Help Ex-Boyfriends Make a Video!!

Attention Bay Area Film/Video Makers!!

Ex-Boyfriends are looking make a music video for a song off our upcoming album. We don't have anywhere near what would be considered a "big budget" but we'd still like to work with someone locally on making a video.

If you're interested, send us a Myspace message or send an email via our regular site and we'll chat further. This would be great for any one who wants to add to their reel.

Thanks in advance,
xoxo EXBF

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Teacher, teach thyself!

Um, what exactly is Gwen Stefani going to teach the American Idol contestants? How to warble like a goat who has sucked too much helium? Hey, for Sanjaya that may be an improvement!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Separated at Birth?

I'm sorry, but am I the only one who looks at Kelly Wearstler of Bravo's "Top Design"(the redheaded stepchild (sorry Todd!) of "Project Runway")

and thinks of Princess Mombi from Return to Oz (the eerily creepy sequel starring the eerily creepy Fairuza Balk)?

At the very least they go to the same salon. And I would not be surprised AT ALL to find out Kelly W. has a room full of heads from which she can choose when the occasion calls for it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Oh, no one told you?

Nurse Clock-a-Bitch is on duty! You had best shape up or you shall definitely get clocked!

"I'm the drummer."

When I play drums I think I am more "in" my body than at any other time in my life. I have a tendency to be somewhat clumsy and flail-y, knocking over my glass of water during an animated conversation or accidentally flinging something when I mean to hand it to someone.

But when I play it's like my body has this unconscious knowledge of what it needs to do and it just takes over. My arms and legs have memorized the parts, the rhythms and the patterns more than my mind could ever really be aware of. I sometimes feel like I could be woken up at 4:45 a.m., put behind my kit and be able to play a song with my band as if I'd been awake for hours, showered and had a hearty breakfast. My body just knows what to do and it's totally in charge. I sit inside of it and enjoy the ride, dancing on my drum throne while I pound out these beats I know better than my own reflection in a mirror.

Because of this I am sometimes amazed when I hear recordings of myself playing. It's not that I am not aware of what it involves to play the drums, the difference between a fast, mid-tempo or slow song or anything like that. But when I play it is a little bit like I am out of my body despite of how embodied I feel. It often feels a bit like slow motion and the astonishment comes in when I hear how fast I'm playing and yet it still sounds fluid, exact and right. I sometimes listen back to my playing and think "How did I not totally fall off the beat there? That shit is fast! When the hell did I learn to do that?!" A part of me that I am not always able to access in daily life takes over and while he is definitely me he is a me that surprises a lot of friends and sometimes surprises the fuck out of me.

I started teaching myself to play drums at the beginning of my junior year of college. I couldn't do a fill or a roll to save my life and I could barely manage a double kick on the bass drum without completely losing the beat altogether. Now when I listen to myself drumming I find myself thinking "I think I would like this drummer if I was just a listener and not the player." That may sound really egotistical, but it's not how I mean it. It means I am actually giving myself some credit - something very few creative people do. I have been driven crazy by people whose talent and ability blows my mind and I see or hear them putting themselves down, under-cutting their art or doing the self-deprecating thing. Yes, humility is a good quality to have for sure - I never feel like I am "done" learning on the drums. I will always be trying to grow and push myself further for as long as I play. But it's okay to say "Hey, I am a good drummer right now" and enjoy that feeling.

And for someone who used to have such health problems that he couldn't walk down a hall without gasping for breath, it's pretty damn satisfying to know that I can tear it up behind the drums and really fun to imagine what it'll be like to listen to myself playing 10 or 20 years from now. I just pray I don't feel the need to add 50 extra toms and 30 specialty cymbals to my kit like some old rocker dudes do.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Oh no, homos!

Is it me or is "gay panic" the new black in the world of comedic entertainment? I am so fucking over it that I'm in a jet soaring high over Gay Panic Country and all the men look like ants running away in terror from one another.

"Take us, take us to your planet..."

Why haven't you listened to The Pipettes yet? What the HELL is wrong with you? Go! Now! Listen!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

"Would you die for him?"

Is it me or is equine-faced actress Hillary Swank's new movie The Reaping just a remake of skeletal actress Demi Moore's 1988 film The Seventh Sign?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Alright already we'll all sell out!

It's nice to know that my steady dislike of indie-to-major phenoms Modest Mouse has been validated by the fact that frontman Isaac Brock can't stop selling his craptacular song "Float On" to everyone and their brother like his name was Moby or something. Thanks to Monsieur Brock we now have the current American Idol contestants doing a music video/cover of this insipid tune for Ford! I'm sure that somewhere, Liz Phair is bopping along to this and thinking it's a great idea.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Selling Blandness

If I have to see that fucking Gap ad with Claire Danes and that dude from Little Children one more time I may stab my television.

When is the Gap going to STOP trying to convince the world that khakis are anything other than clothing as punishment? Honestly, if you're not working at Blockbuster video or waiting tables somewhere semi-formal and aren't forced to wear them then why would you voluntarily dress like stale toast?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"Pass the tanning butter!"

One of the best musical compliments I ever received had absolutley nothing to do with playing the drums. I used to share lead vocal duties in my old band Crowns on 45. We got a little blurb in a local NYC rag and I was described as singing "like an evil Fred Schneider." It was nearly as awesome as the time Time Out NY described us as having "sucked at the twin teats of Blondie and Bikini Kill."

The word "teat" is criminally underused these days.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Opinions & Observations

If there was one thing Oprah should be punished for it's for inflicting Dr. Phil on the world.

Opinions & Observations

It feels egotistical to have your own bands songs stuck in your head. But I do - all the new ones we now have rough, un-mixed versions of. At least being the drummer I can claim it's all due to guitars and vocals which I have no part in. So I don't sound like quite the egoiste.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Opinions & Observations

I saw The Queen this weekend. Two thoughts immediately came to me during the course of the film:

1) Helen Mirren is awesome. She's a fantastic actress and she is ridiculously gorgeous for a woman her age. Even when playing someone decidely un-gorgeous as HRH.

2) Worst. Job. Ever. I can complain all I want about the myriad of cruddy food service, retail and office jobs I have had in my lifetime. But I would not trade places with the Queen of England for anything. I'd have everyone beheaded out of pure irritation.