Thursday, January 31, 2008

Pimping my band.

I decided to upload a different track off of In With to our Myspace page. It's the closing track on the album and Peter sings the lead vocal. He sat in his van for about 2 hours writing the lyrics before he recorded his vocals. It was one of a few moments of "writing in the studio" which was totally new for me and I think for all of us. I think the song is really pretty and I am kind of proud of us for being able to pull it off since it was only half-formed when we went in to record.

We also have a show coming up next Friday February 8th at The Red Devil Lounge. We're opening up for The Bruises for their CD release party and it should be a good time. They have been known to cover "In Your Room" by the Bangles and if they do at this show I want to come shake a tambourine with them or something. Anyways, come see us!

February 8th, 2008
The Red Devil Lounge
Doors 8pm, $7 for advance ticket purchases, $10 night of.
1655 Polk St. @ Clay, San Francisco
The Bruises(headliners)
The Hooks
Ex-Boyfriends (we open)

Monday, January 28, 2008

June fucking Cleaver

The title of "Office Manager" might sound impressive to one or two people. This is mainly due to it containing the word "manager" which implies some kind of authority. Most people who bear the title of manager have at least one or more persons who report to them. But my title is a little more literal: I manage the office. No one reports to me unless you count any one of my co-workers letting me know we have run out of this or that item in the employee lounge and can I please get more. I make sure the office supply room is stocked, the mailing and Fed Ex accoutrement are plentiful and that everyone gets a birthday card on his or her birthday signed by as many people who are present in his or her department; as well as sundry tasks like filing, dealing with various vendors and fielding phone calls for confused callers who hit "0" rather than try their hand at the employee directory.

It's not a glamorous job. It's kind of akin to being a paid house wife minus the actual husband or children (although many of my co-workers could fool you on that one). As is the case with a lot of house wife-esque work, a lot of it goes unappreciated. I'll often spend half my day running around distributing mail and packages and putting away a massive Costco delivery and the only feedback I get is someone complaining that I should order more Goldfish crackers or why aren't there more vegan snack options. A lot of days it rolls off my back - I don't expected to be praised for every little task I do. It's my job and it's what I get paid for - that's thanks enough 95% of the time. But there are some weeks where I feel like a little appreciation would add a little frosting to the cake.

An ex-co-worker of mine still chats with me on IM from time to time when I am at my desk. She's friends with some other folks who still work here and she recently told me that this one guy here, S, mentioned that he sees me running around doing so many things for the office and he hopes that my boss is taking notice since reviews are coming up. S and I have very little interaction in our individual jobs beyond a "hi" or a "hey" in passing. He always seems nice but generally quiet and doing his own thing. I certainly never thought of him taking much note of what I do with my workday. So of course he is secretly now my favorite co-worker. I might even buy a birthday cake from somewhere other than Safeway when it's his birthday month.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Rocking 12 Galaxies w/the Hot Toddies & Dealership

We're playing at 12 Galaxies this Friday with the Hot Toddies and Dealership.

Friday 1/25/08
2655 Mission St. btwn 21st & 22nd
$8, 9pm, 21+
The Hot Toddies
Ex-Boyfriends(we're on 2nd)

Come on out and rock with us!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Muni: Still sucks, still deadly.

Way to go Muni!! You've already killed your first citizen in 2008!!. And only 18 days into the new year - you're a real go-getter.

I'm being a bit glib I realize but it's kind of hard to fathom how things with Muni just keep getting shittier and shittier. Like for real, there's a graph and everything:

I'm loving walking to work because the Muni underground trains are always a mess and it saves me money by not having to buy a Fast Pass every month. But I guess I'd better make sure my ass doesn't get run the fuck over and possibly killed my some crazed/half-asleep/whatever-is-wrong-with-them Muni driver. I have a feeling the people who work as drivers for Muni are underpaid and overworked - cities always do that to the people who work in their infrastructure. I wonder how many people will have to be injured or killed before things like this change.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Best. Text. Message. Ever.

From my friend Aaron: "Staph is the new tigers."

If you live in SF/the Bay Area then you know why this is fucking hilarious.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Rant: People Who Hate On Bisexuals

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a male co-worker who identifies as bisexual and was venting about messing around with a guy at a largely gay work environment and then hearing a bunch of trash talk about "what the hell, isn't he STRAIGHT??" And then, in turn, facing disbelief/scorn over his bisexuality. And my reply was "Seriously? When the hell are people going to get over it?"

And I seriously mean it. I really cannot fathom how people who aren't homophobic to begin with (cuz that is a whole other ball of wax) can have SUCH a problem with bisexuality. Especially gay people. I feel like gay people who are really closed-minded/bigoted towards bisexual people are kind of colossal assholes. And also kind of clueless. We want people to accept our sexuality and not hate us for who we are but we can totally do that to someone else and it's all fine and dandy? Hunh?! My favorite part are the really tired excuses I have heard in the past from my fellow gays about this subject:

1) "I don't want someone to dump me for someone of the opposite sex (of me)."
2) "I don't want to deal with someone who is experimenting with their sexuality."
3) "I don't want to be with someone who also sleeps with/has slept someone of the opposite/same sex."

O RLY? Here's how I feel about those responses:

1) You know what sucks? Getting dumped! I don't really understand the fact that being dumped for someone of the opposite sex of you is really so much worse. I feel like so much of that is about how if reflects on the person being dumped and how insecure they are about their own identity. You're a gay man and you're dating a bisexual guy and he leaves you for another woman, well guess what? You're still a gay man! I think the same shitty feelings would come with that situation as would any dumping, especially one where you're being left for another person, and blaming it on the Evils of Bisexuality is just hateful.

2) So if someone identifies as bisexual then he or she is just experimenting? Statements like this totally point to people not seeing bisexuality as a valid sexual identity. Someone experimenting with their sexuality is someone saying "I'm not sure if I'm gay or straight or bisexual or what I'd call my sexuality at all and I am exploring this." Someone saying they're bisexual means, surprise, they're bisexual! Remember how it felt when you came out as gay and people told you it was just a phase and you felt so angry and invalidated? Ding ding ding!! Way to perpetuate that kind of feeling!

3) Why not? It's not like you'll "get any on you". I can see where some fear of HIV/AIDS can come in here if someone is speaking about a male bisexual lover and they assume that homosexual sex = extra exposure to HIV/AIDS but let's not kid ourselves into thinking you're safe from exposure if you live an entirely heterosexual life. I hear a lot of gay men making comments like this along with a bunch of bullshit misogyny about women's genitalia and fish smells and other bullshit. Seriously though? Like for real? Like not just joking around with your fellow fags but actually you mean it? Cuz when I hear gay guys going on and on about how gross women's body parts are I just assume they're masking their inherent curiosity about sex with women. I'm not gay because I think women are gross, I'm gay because I think men are hot. Again, your sexuality isn't defined by who your partner slept with before you or sleeps with after you. So don't put your insecurity on the bisexual folks.

The thing that fascinates me about biphobia is the way it intersects homophobia and misogyny and general fear of non-traditional sexuality so succinctly and in so many ways. I also think people are really afraid of something they can't define as THIS or THAT in a clear and distinct way with no gray areas. Heterosexuality. Homosexuality. Man. Woman. People who identify their sexuality or gender in a place that's seen as "in between" and not polarized are so often discounted as being uncertain or confused. And I think, in actuality, the people confusing them of being uncertain and confused are the confused ones. And the scared ones. And the ones who aren't even sure who they are and thus are thrown into a tizzy by a person or persons who highlight this uncertainty by so certainly claiming and identity that isn't totally polarized and therefore more acceptable.

When I first came out the only other queer person I knew was my best friend Sarah, who is bisexual. I never questioned her identification and it didn't even occur to me to do so. I felt such total love and acceptance from her and I was just glad to have someone in my life who could understand what it was like to experience being sexually different from the acceptable, social norms. As I get older I find that a lot of labels for sexuality (and gender) tend to both help us define ourselves as well as limit us in a lot of ways. But while we're still using these words and terms I want to see some folks step into the 21st century and get over their issues with bisexuality.

A lot of times when I call people on negative comments they make on the subject they laugh it off as if it's all frivolous and has no impact on their lives, especially gay men. But if you don't see how being prejudiced towards bisexual people is totally connected to the very homophobia that some people aim at you then I really don't know how to make you see it. Cuz you're clearly not very smart.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

It's 2008 or something

I do not do resolutions. I think they're silly and pointless. And if you make them and feel judged by that comment, well, sorry, you do your thing and I'll do mine. I just know that making some kind of absolute statement about what I will or will not do in the new year will just backfire on me when I am suddenly eating sugar or watching too much porn or not doing more creative writing. I try to work on change and growth all the time in various ways and I figure that's the best way to approach it. Trying to build a wall between the current year and the one that just ended seems childish. Like the self-improvement version of jamming your fingers in your ears and shouting "LALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!" And people always end up seeming so pissed around the first week of February when they're lives aren't all magickally better and resolved. In the words of many great philosophers: DUH!

One thing I would like to do this year is start a new band. And it's not because I do not love my current band because I do. But I like new musical experiences. They push me as a drummer and they're always fun and challenging. After the semi-dyke-dramatic dissolution of my old band I think I unconsciously steered myself towards and all dude situation. But I am over all that old stuff and I miss being in a band with some gender balance and a different approach to song writing and such than the band I am currently in. I'll always love poppy, catchy stuff but I'd like to move towards some different sounds than EXBF and push myself to drum a bit differently. So hopefully I can get that going and have big fun with it.

Oh, also, I resolve to have a lot of sex with Chris Meloni. Mark my words.