The Crappening

I was really surprised when the twist ending to M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening wasn't that it was an SNL or Mad TV sketch parodying M. Night Shyamalan films. This was especially difficult to swallow given how utterly hilarious Mark Wahlberg was in the movie. Seriously, people think this douchebag is a good actor? I've seen news casters give more nuanced teleprompter readings. He didn't even take his shirt off once so I had no fucking use for him. And someone needs to tell Zooey Daschanel that there's more to acting than bugging your eyes out all huge like a living Keane painting.

My favorite part of the whole movie was when I yelled "OH GOD, JUST SHUT UP!" at Betty Buckley. I think she heard me too, cuz she killed herself 5 minutes later. I'm just going to pretend this never happened and remember you for your work on "Eight is Enough". Looking good though, Betty. Aging quite nicely.

Wait, so where was I? Ah yes, someone please stop M. Night Shymalan before her writes/directs/produces again. Thanks!