Dear Tim Gunn,

I want a makeover too. I am tired of owning 800 t-shirts and no "nice clothes" and this weekend when I was in Chicago I saw all these kids waiting in line to see some awful band called "My Bleeding Emo Heart Full of Crap" or something and they all had on black hoodies and jeans like me even though mine is also polka-dotted.

Come help me. You can bring Veronica Webb but I already know I have cute underwear and it's not like she could take me bra shopping.

xoxoxo Chris

P.S. Do not, under any circumstances, bring your friend the "life stylist" with you or so help me I will rip his entrails out with my bare hands. He is so fucking annoying and I'm glad he was not on your last episode!